It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
（重要的从来不是那些批评者；不是那些指责强者跌倒的人，也不是那些挑剔实干家没有做到最好的人。）
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...
“It’s not the critic who counts. It’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done it different. The credit belongs to the person who’s actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again and again and again, and who, in the end, while he may know the triumph of high achievement, at least when he fails, he does so daring greatly.” 虽败犹荣。
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits，I dreamed of changing theworld.
As I grew older and wiser， I discovered the world would not change， so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it， too， seemed immovable.
As I grewinto my twilight years， in one last desperate attempt， I settled for changing only my family， those closest to me， but alas， they would have none of it.
And now， as Ilie on my death bed， I suddenly realize：
If I had only changed myself first， then by example I would have changed my family.From their in spiration and encouragement， I would then have been able to better my country，and who knows， I may have even changed the world.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
（重要的从来不是那些批评者；不是那些指责强者跌倒的人，也不是那些挑剔实干家没有做到最好的人。）
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again,because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly...
（荣耀属于真正站在竞技场上拼搏的人，他们的脸上沾满灰尘、汗水与鲜血；他们顽强奋战，敢于犯错，屡败屡战，因为没有任何努力不是伴随着犯错和缺陷的；但他们依然坚持不懈，他们懂得满腔热忱与倾力拼搏的意义；他们献身于崇高的事业，他们知道最好的结果是功成名就，就算最终以落败收场，至少他们败得无所畏惧……）
“It’s not the critic who counts. It’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done it different. The credit belongs to the person who’s actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes up short again and again and again, and who, in the end, while he may know the triumph of high achievement, at least when he fails, he does so daring greatly.” 虽败犹荣。
在伦敦闻名世界的威斯敏斯特大教堂地下室的墓碑林中，有一块名扬世界的墓碑。在这块墓碑上，刻着这样的一段话：
When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits，I dreamed of changing theworld.
As I grew older and wiser， I discovered the world would not change， so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it， too， seemed immovable.
As I grewinto my twilight years， in one last desperate attempt， I settled for changing only my family， those closest to me， but alas， they would have none of it.
And now， as Ilie on my death bed， I suddenly realize：
If I had only changed myself first， then by example I would have changed my family.From their in spiration and encouragement， I would then have been able to better my country，and who knows， I may have even changed the world.
译文：
当我年轻的时候，我的想象力从没有受到过限制，我梦想改变这个世界。
当我成熟以后，我发现我不能改变这个世界，我将目光缩短了些，决定只改变我的国家。
当我进入暮年后，我发现我不能改变我的国家，我的最后愿望仅仅是改变一下我的家庭。但是，这也不可能。
当我躺在床上，行将就木时，我突然意识到：如果一开始我仅仅去改变我自己，然后作为一个榜样，我可能改变我的家庭；在家人的帮助和鼓励下，我可能为国家做一些事情。然后谁知道呢？我甚至可能改变这个世界。
我最欣赏的Brene Brown 谈《召唤勇气 The call to courage 》，你知道吗？其实勇敢刚脆弱，并不是一条线的两端，而是同一件事，圣经上说的“什么时候软弱，什么时候就刚强了。”原来还可以透过心理学、生物神经学验证。
以下三点是我从中撷取归纳整理的，老实说第三点不太确定，现在有文化差异?
1. 站在竞技场，无视观众，注视所爱
“所有的赞誉全属于站在竞技场里的人，因为他的脸上沾满了灰尘、汗水与血水。”竞技场外的观众，不管提出的意见多好，都不是真正的英雄。
这些排山倒海的意见会压垮你，你只需要在意某些人：就是那些“深爱着你的不完美与脆弱的人”的意见就行。
People who love you because of your imperfections and vulnerability. Their feedback matters.
2. 真正的归属感要从忠于自己开始
不要为了其他人而出卖自己，真正的归属感是要先属于你自己，面对你的感受，说出你的故事，真正的归属感不会要求你改变自己，而是做自己。而融入（fit in) 是跟归属感（belonging）完全相反的，融入是去观察、去模仿、去改变言行举止，让自己看起来是一个团体的一分子。
3. 亲密关系中，如何预备自己陪伴对方的脆弱
在受到伤害/被拒绝时，大脑为了保护你，大脑会需要一个有逻辑、因果关系的故事来让一切合理化。
在社会规范（social norms)下，最容易让一个女人觉得羞耻的是身体形象(body image），而男性则是被看到软弱的一面（weakness）。
因此当你的另一半回应你的方式不如你所期待，女性的反应通常是：“他一定是觉得我老了、不再有魅力了”，男性则认为：“她一定对我的表现失望了”。
一个成熟的人，在面对另一个人最脆弱、羞耻的时候，能够陪伴他，不会透过他的脆弱（vulnerability)从他的身上获得权力与地位，而是聆听，并且要学会克制不帮助对方解决问题。
延迟一年才看到，一个小时的内容收获满满。我的大学本科跟她的专业一样，虽然后来不务正业、没走上学术或临床实践，但这类内容依然怦然心动。